Isn't it nice to know, that the lining is silver?

I tried my hardest to not use Relient K lyrics for my title, but no other lyrics came to mind, and these were just so fitting, and I need this song right now. Plus, I absolutely loveloveLOVE it. And I'm so glad they played it at the concert.

It's official now. I'm going to Arizona. Five days. To see my father and his family for Christmas. It's official because the plane tickets have been bought, a schedule has been made, and I've been told how to pack. Apparently I need to bring a bathing suit, workout clothes, warm clothes for possible skiing, cool clothes for the normal weather, and a few other things. I'm going to ride on a plane for the first time ever, and I'm not going somewhere I'm looking forward to.

My mom won't acknowledge the fact that we're going to Arizona. She hasn't said anything about it, accept to confirm the plans with Natasha on the phone. And that makes it immensely harder. It also makes it a lot harder that I was crying the other night when Jessica was sleeping in my room.

But the silver lining? I'm going to get to do a ton of things I've never done before. Like ski (possibly), fly on an airplane, go to an actual gym, spend Christmas away from home, meet my uncle's family and spend Christmas eve with them, meet my step-siblings, horseback riding, I think I'm going to be able to cut my hair short and then walk through an airport so I can dream of destinations (more Relient K), and (hopefully) own a cell phone--still working on that.

I can't write lately. Everything is really embarrassingly girly and gross and just disgusts me. I think I'm going through my worst phase of poetry, ever. Never have I written this much...I don't know what name to give it...crap, I guess, but that doesn't even begin to cover it. It's amateur and girly and flippy, and my vocabulary fails me so very much right now. And my piece for my application is hard too. Only because it's just hard to write. I'm actually thinking of changing it up and having y'all vote on what I send in, I'm not as confident right now as I was a few months ago.

Silver lining? I've gotten the rest of my application COMPLETELY DONE. Except, of course, for my guidance counselor sheet and arts recommendation, but neither of those are my fault. Mrs. Riley is just slack and I can't have my transcript thing done until a long time from now, anyway.

I was sick today. Turns out the headache was a migraine, so it made me sick to my stomach, and my mom just told me to stay home from school to be sure it was gone. I would have protested but my perfect attendance will be shot in a month and a few weeks anyway, so what does it matter?

What's the silver lining in that? An extra day to finish Pearl Harbor. =)

I think my distractions have ceased, in a way. Well, in the way that it's all become harder to deal with and it's not so simple anymore. At least, I don't think it is. Have you noticed?

But it's all okay. Because I have y'all, and I have things to look forward to, and I have my WHAT nerds, and I have those moments everyday that I know I have the best friends in the world and that I wouldn't trade them for anything, ever, and nothing could change that, and they make me laugh so hard at times that I can't breathe and Dominic thinks I'm crazy, but it's fine, because he has a funny shaped head.

Love you,
Heather

Isn't it nice to know, that we're golden