falling into an ant's nostril

I bought The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz. So far it's amazing, but I decided to put it aside and finally finish the Amber Spyglass first. Since I don't want to lug that thing around school. I've started so many books lately, and haven't gotten very far in any of them. I was reading Familiar Heat by Mary Hood but it's used so it smells strongly of smoke so it's really hard to read. And Pay It Forward by Catherine Ryan Hyde, but I can't find it. I think I accidentally left it in Natasha's car or something. And How To Be Bad but I really didn't like Lauren Myracle's part. It was just ugh.

But I have been editing my essay (? short story? nonfictional piece?) that I'm sending in. It doesn't look too good right now, but I'm sure I can work it into shape. I'm using these euphemisms because otherwise I would be saying that I'm ripping up full pages and taking sharpies to entire paragraphs and marking out so many adverbs that my sentences look like they're all three words long and rearranging and then unrearranging everything so much that I'm getting dizzy.

But it's the 10-days-away panic that Caroline has further instilled upon me by constantly bringing it up. I forgive you, though, Caroline, or else it would be the day before it's due and I'd be just beginning this process.

But just to lighten my mood, I decided to throw in a poem:

Vanishing Point

You thought it was just a pencil dot
art students made in the middle of the canvas
before they started painting the barn, cows, haystacks,

or just a point where railroad tracks fuse,
a spot engineers stare at from the cabs of trains
as they clack through the heat of prairies
heading out of the dimensional.

But here I am at the vanishing point,
looking back at everything as it zooms toward me,
barns, cows, tracks, haystacks, farmers, the words,
shrinking, then disappearing into this iota
as if pulled by a gravity that is horizontal.

I am a catcher behind the home plate of the world,
a scientist observing a little leak in reality.

I watch the history of architecture narrow down
to nothing, all straight lines rushing away from
themselves like men who have caught on fire.
Every monument since Phidias converges on this speck.
Imagine a period that could swallow all the sentences
in an encyclopedia.

I have reached the heaven of geometry
where every line in every theorem aspires to go.
Even the vanishing points in drawings vanish here.
And if you do not believe me, look at where
the tangents of your garage are aimed.

You have heard of the apple that astonished Paris?
This is the nostril of the ant that inhaled the universe.


Alas, I wish I could call this my work but cannot because I have not written any good poetry in months. And this is beautiful. And, of course, Billy Collins.

Heather

Happy Christmas

It's not really Christmas anymore, but I hope y'all had a happy one. Mine was good, if not exhausting. I got this really cute shirt with pandas on it but it has glitter on it, so I'm leaving glitter trails as I walk through the house. It's quite hilarious, because George keeps following me and trying to eat the glitter. He's so cute. I love my kitten. And I got a lot of money for christmas because I visited so many relatives and they all just give money, so I have $150 to blow on whatever I want (pluse 20 more for BAM and Target). I was going to use 40 of it for my costume but my mom said not to. I guess she'll pay for that...*shrug*

My uncle was supposed to be here an hour ago, but he's not. So I wasn't able to go to Sonic for lunch because he was supposed to be here but isn't. Blech. And tomorrow my grandma and her dog are coming, and she's leaving the dog behind for us. Yay! More animals! Speaking of, my mom needs to clean the litter box in here because it smells bad and I don't know where the kitty litter is so I can't do it. But she's in Charleston with Amy today, so that won't happen. Oh, well.

I have a star-shaped scratch/bruise/something-that-I-don't-have-a-name-for on my face from sledding down a really steep and tall hill and then going over a ramp and flying in the air and then landing with my face on the sled. It was really fun and totally worth it, though.

No gingerbread houses this year, since we didn't even come home until 2:30 Christmas morning, but maybe next year...=)

Happy Late Christmas!
Heather

P.S. Emilea, your present should be coming soon but it probably won't be until next week. So it'll be a New Year's present.

Survey

Because I'm a copycat. Because I'm bored. Because I don't have a mind of my own. Because I hate being left out.

1. What's your name?
I don't know. I've forgotten.

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
A green shirt and my very blue blue jeans. The green shirt can vary.

3. Last thing you ate?
Fries. Oh, the unhealthy nation. Oh, the unhealthy Heather.

4. One place you will NEVER eat at?
I can't gauruntee any sort of never. Maybe, in twenty years, I will have gotten amnesia, and I won't remember that I don't like barbeque. And I might actually eat at that BBQ place down the street from my grandmother's house.

5. I say Shotgun, you say:
"Wedding--Damn it! I didn't want to!"

6. Last person you hugged?
Zac

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
If I knew that, would I be sitting on my computer filling out your lame survey?

8. Would you date anyone you met online?
Eh, that's a bit sketchy. I'm sure there are plenty of nice people online out there. But I probably wouldn't date just anyone I met in person either. They'd have to be date-able.

9. Name something you like physically about yourself:
Er, I like the matching freckles on my feet. They're very symmetrical.

10. The last place you went out to dinner to?
Outback Steakhouse. I appreciate the hilarity of that statement. Maybe you don't.

11. Who is your best friend?
Myself. Since we're one person.

12. What time of the day is it?
4:42, but it wont' be when I post this.

13. Who/What made you angry today?
Courtney's non-attendance to the thing this weekend.

14. Baseball or Football?
Oh, it's just so hard. WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE? Especially between a sport for stupid people where all you do is run in squares, and they even have the lines drawn for you, and an excuse for guys to hit each other?

15. Ever gone skinny dipping?
No, but I'm interested in the fact that John Green has. Weird.

16. Favorite type of Food?
The kind that tastes good.

17. Favorite holiday:
The kind that doesn't have any particular kind of food attached. Oh, wait, that only leaves Christmas and those dumb holidays we get off of school but no one really celebrates.

18. Do you download music:
Not presently, no.

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
I don't typically wear shoes that require socks, so when I do, they aren't typically dirty, but if they were, it would bug me, but I would wear them before I didn't.

20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?
Nothing wrong if you know what they mean.

21. Would you date the person who posted this?
Possibly, depending on which person you are talking about. Because I'm sure millions in this world have posted this. But the one I got it from? I don't know, because they're two people.

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
No.

23. Do you love anyone?
Yes. My heart isn't shriveled and cold.

24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?
Why would they be any more or less sexy than regular contact lenses? Or just regular eyes? They wouldn't.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
Interesting concept. But no.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
Fictionally, yes. In reality, no.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Not that I know of.

28. How many pets do you have?
I can't count. It's something like 3 or 4 or 7. It depends on your definition of pet.

29. Have you met a real redneck?
You wouldn't be asking me this question if you'd ever been to my school.

30. How is the weather right now?
Brisk (because I'm always looking for a reason to use that word).

31. What are you listening to right now?
The sound of Charmed. My typing. Cars. Cats meowing.

32. What is your current favorite song?
Er, uh, At Least We Made It This Far? Lay All Your Loving On Me? I only name those two because they are both fighting for attention in my head.

33. What was the last movie you watched?
Notting Hill. No, maybe it was...no. It was Notting Hill.

34. Do you wear contacts?
No. What's your obsession with contacts about?

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
The last place I went? On the bus. The last place I was? My front yard.

36. What are you afraid of?
Lizards, great white sharks, jagged rocks being thrown at me, being thrown into a pit of jagged rocks, boggarts, dementors, Wally, sharp teeth, having my hand eaten off while I'm still alive, A, scary mudering rapists, terrifying things.

37. How many piercings have you had?
Just the two in my ears.

38. What piercings do you want?
I'm fine now, thanks. Not in the particular mood for more.

39. What's one thing you've learned this year?
Anger is Good.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Caramel macchiato

41. What Magazines are you reading?
I'm not at this moment. But generally, the ones that show up in my mailbox. Meaning Entertainment Weekly.

42. Have you ever fired a gun:
More interested in the fact that John Green has fired a gun than in the fact that he's gone skinny dipping. My answer is no, if that's really what you're after.

43. Are you missing someone?
I don't think I can say it as well as John, but yes.

44. Favorite TV show?
Don't really have one. I like Greek, though..

45. Do you have an obession with WoW?
I have a fascination with the fascination with WoW.

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
haha. Yeah. Helloooo, Jodi Foster.

47. What celeb do you look like?
Oh darn, I just answered that question, but apparently Gwyneth Paltrow, too.

48. Who would you like to see right now?
Lots of people. I'm really bad at narrowing things down.

49. Favorite movie of all time?
August Rush, most possibly. But there are lots of contenders. Driving Lessons, for instance.

50. Do you find yourself loved?
Most likely.

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to?
Yes.

52. Favorite smell?
Books that smell like rain. Because they smell better than rain, and I like that smell, too. Oh, and peppers.

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
Buttered. But not to the point of soggy-ness.

54. What's something that really bugs you?
Lots of things. Mostly hypocrites.

55. Do you like Michael Jackson?
Not the person, no.

56. Taco Bell or Burger King?
I never eat at either establishment. But from what I know, Taco Bell. Is this survey almost over??

57. What's your favorite perfume?
Princess by Vera Wang.

58. Favorite baseball team?
no.

59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?
I'm with Caroline on this one.

60. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
A really really long time? when I'm not sleeping for a long time, I don't go about counting how long it's been since I slept.

61. Last time you went bowling?
Jessica's party.

62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
I try to avoid sleeping in weird places. But I guess my closet counts, right?

63. Who was your last phone call?
My grandmother. Wow, that sounds so wholesome.

64. Last time you were at work?
never

65. What's the closest orange object to you?
My nail polish. OMG IT'S TOUCHING ME IT'S SO CLOSE!