You didn’t get to heaven but you made it close

In case you've been living under a rock (and I know you haven't, but maybe you haven't listened to the song in a while and forgot it--again, not like you did, because there aren't that many words to this particular song, but you might have and so I'm here to assist in assisting you by telling you this), I feel the need to tell you that above are the lyrics to 42, a song by Coldplay, from Viva la Vida.

I swear that song was written for Mr. Spaceman by Robert Olen Butler. I think that Chris Martin (or Guy, or Jonny, or Will-the frequently unnamed members of Coldplay) read the book, thought (in his lovely accent), Oh, I could make a wonderful song from this because it's such a beautiful peace written about an Alien that may or may not be God. Or, I would, if that entire book wasn't about words and 42 doesn't have very many. Seriously, though. It is the PERFECT song for that book. Everything about it is just perfect. Even the music. It's amazing, and somehow I just noticed this today on the way home from school.

I also realized (as if I hadn't already) that I'm so glad volleyball is over. I don't know if I've mentioned this to anyone, ever, but I'm REALLY glad volleyball is over, and I really hated going to practice. I don't think I have said that. Newest reasons are:

♥I get to listen to music more often, because I'm home more often, and because I have the 20 or so minute bus ride in the afternoon (now a longer one in the morning as well because my sister's ex-boyfriend is a creepy stalker freak and all this other crap that I'm not going to put online, because it's scary, and if you-emilea- or you-anna- want to know, I can email you, but I'm sure you don't care, and I can just tell caroline since she/you, you know, lives/live here).

♥Because I get to be inside the loop. Especially on all things regarding Zac and Katlyn. You want to hear the newest news (trust me, you'll be entertained. I'm not sure in what way, but you will be)? They were playing with the electronic 20?s game in BAM on Saturday, because you know, they still have benefits, and Katlyn told Zac to think of something. So, he thought of Katlyn. She asked him all the questions, stuff like "Is it black?" and "Can it fit in a microwave?" Ridiculous stuff like that. So they go through twenty questions and then the long process of "I know what it is....it's a--" You want to know what it turned out to be? A Soulmate!!!!!!

Isn't that the craziest thing you've ever heard? And it wasn't even a lie, because I double checked the facts (since Zac sometimes lies, a tad bit) with Katlyn. It definitely was a soulmate. So suffice to say they were freaked out. I think it's sweet, because they do make a good couple.

♥I'm not sure this is a good thing, but I get to be harassed with multiple hungs from people. Mostly, it's a good thing. With Lenny it's not. He attacked me and Zac and wouldn't let go of us for a good 10 minutes. He started to sing. It was scary.

♥Dante said I looked emo with my Relient K jacket. I laughed, because he was wearing all black.

♥I can do things like Book Club and Drama Club and Chorus without having to work practice around it and be rushed all the time.

♥Sleep, oh lovely sleep.

♥BLOGGING! I know you guys enjoy that one, right?

So the concert was awesome, as Caroline has already told you. Matt Thiessen wore a cape for the first song. This Providence rofls my waffles. I got a guitar pick. My jacket is amazing. I use that word too much. I had some writing material for a story I'm working on. It got my mind off some things so I could think (and write).

Also, Dreher High School Wizard of Oz????? I'm not the only one dying to go, am I?

Heather

I'm just trying to be a better version of me for you

I really hate burning cds, and here's why:

1) I always screw them up
2) It takes forever
3) I feel guilty
4) It never works, and I always end up wasting a perfectly good cd
5) All I have to do while burning them is hang out on facebook and on a rare occasion, myspace.

I hate myspace bulletins, and here's why:

1) They are super vague
2) They make you want to ask that person what they're talking about but you can't because it'd be weird and also, you feel like you're invading their privacy
3) They make your mind think about the same things/problems you've been thinking all day but can't solve
4) I am forced to realize even more so how words affect me, but how I can't affect them
5) Sometimes...they make me cry.

I hate crying, and here's why:

1) I'm one of the ugliest criers in the world. My face gets all blotchy and red (yes, I realize most people's do), and my eyes squint up, and I can actually frown, a lot, so that's emphasized.
2) I have no privacy in my house
3) It prevents me from seeing clearly
4) I think that I'm thinking too much if it's making me cry
5) I make posts like this that turn downhill into depressing monologues about how crappy my life is and how I hate everything

I hate making posts like this that turn downhill into depressing monologues about how crappy my life is and how I hate everything, and here's what I'm going to do about it:

1) I'm going to stop writing my short story/essay that I'm sending in to gs, because that's making me sad.
2) I'm going to read John Green's blog (because I've caught up on all the videos) and laugh
3) I'm going to watch Hank do the Numa Numa dance for about the trillionth time because you cannot laugh any harder (accept, maybe if you watch him do that punishment where he sings the song about being an internet girl and he puts his hair in pigtails)
4) I'm going to stop thinking about all this crap that's confusing me and go with everything, and just live those parts of my life nonchalantly
5) I'm going to think about Friday, and Saturday, and how, in the very near future, I will be surrounded by tons of jumping, screaming bodies and yelling my head off while you're there next to me, likewise yelling your head of and we'll be smiling and happy, and looking at Matt, Matt, John, Jon, and Ethan.



I was going to post this on a facebook note. You see why I didn't?

I love you guys. I wish I was a clever fountain of hilarity right now, because I'm sure you all need a good laugh from me, so I'll bring it soon. =)

Heather



******This is an edit, because I wanted to post but blogger was currently unavailable, apparently.

So now not only am I spending half the day with Jess tomorrow, I invited her to come over here and hang out tonight. To 'chill'. Robert and Amy and Elliot keep saying that word, btw. They keep talking about how they're going to 'chill'. Ugh. You were right about that word. So we're practically one person, but don't worry, I'm not replacing you! =)

And then Zac practically begged me to come over to the Giovagnoli house tomorrow. Which I guess I must. I miss him/Dante, anyway, so I want to.

And the topic of Zac brings me to my next point: Shannon forced him to hold her baby. Yes, I'm sure you are cracking up right about now (if you're Caroline), just as I was, but probably not as much as I did. He held the baby, looked at me with that face he makes, where his eyes get all wide and him mouth bunches up and he looks sad and terrified. You know that look? Well he made it. He also kept saying "This is awkward. This is awkward. This is awkward." It became his mantra. And he was holding the baby like it had a severe case of smallpox. Then she kept using that really annoying voice where she is practically yelling (Hey Dominic. Hey Dominic. Hey. Hey. Hey Dominic) but it's obvious that that is just a normal form her voice takes on.

Yeah...it was a good laugh. As was this crap Zac was saying about Hunter's skinny pants that trust me, was funny, but you don't want to know.

And not only am I selling Skittles and Starbursts in order to go to Disney World (700 pieces of candy???!!???? That's 23 1/3 boxes!!!), but there is another box that has chocolate things, like Reese's and Hershey and stuff like that. Jess took one of those to sell. I've sold sixteen, so I have $8 out of $350. So I'm getting close! =\

I'm also happy to report that I'm writing a lot lately. I'm much like you, Anna, and kind of abandoned it all when I got busy, then I got my application, spent a few days staring at it and still not writing anything. All of a sudden, though, I started to write. And write. And write. I filled up 7 pages, front an back, in my moleskin with my writing. And it's all one piece (well, two technically), not just a bunch of poems (those have sucked lately, btw). It feels good to find my way back to writing again. I never realized how much I loved it. I always just thought it was something I did, something I enjoyed, something I liked. Never something I loved to do as immensely as I do. I love creating something out of nothing, you know? Just to have these words come out of you that you can't use in normal conversation, and to know that they're yours and you created these characters and named them and made them real.

It's just an amazing feeling. I'd always thought that, just not as strongly. I guess you have to leave something for a while to realize how much it means to you.

Can't wait to get out of my house, and just DO SOMETHING!

Again,
Heather

i'm such a drama queen

disclaimer: the first half of this post is pretty much just saying some stuff I think I need to say, not that I want to, and that you really don't have to read if you don't want to. Just skip ahead to the dashed line. Or maybe I'll make it astericks. I don't know.

It's not broken, really. Still bruised. Still weird and annoying and sometimes swollen, but others not. But not broken. I make such a huge deal out of everything...

Speaking of making a huge deal, THE DISTRACTION IS NOT A BIG DEAL. It's just annoying. I don't know what to do about it, and that makes me mad, and it makes it a big deal, because this is the first time I've been faced with anything like this, but really, not a big deal. Everyone has been making it such, (mostly Courtney) and I don't want it to be. I'm just...seeing what happens. Ugh, I hate that phrase.


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

In other news... You're par-tay is in about 30 minutes, and I've been ready to go for like an HOUR. Which really is kind of lame, but I've been super bored this weekend and I've had way too much time to think. And read. And Slaughter-House Five is pretty amazing, btw.

As is Audrey, Wait! I hope you don't mind that I circled the lyrics to the Cartel song. I think it was A...yeah. And I put a bunch of hearts around it because I got really excited.

My room is spotless. Literally. I cleaned it today, and I even vacuumed and dusted, which I never do. And washed my bed stuff. And then took the Febreeze and doused everything in Spring-freshness. I cleaned Zac and Luke's cage. Organized the shoes in my closet. Went closet digging, to find an outfit for the concert next weekend. All I found was a really adorable skirt that I've had for years and have only worn once, and a shirt that I can wear with it so that I look like I stepped out of the forties. It's totally what I'm wearing for Halloween, if it's not too cold. I'm wearing my outfit for the concert today, just because. It's kind of lame. Just a blank tanktop and jeans. But whatever.

I can't wait to see Relient K live. It's going to be amazing. Probably not as amazing as Soundtrack of Your Summer, but still pretty good. Especially since Ludo is really good.

I'm hoping all is well with you and yours on today. And if it is not, it is my sincere desire that things get better for you.

Love you, miss you emilea and anna. See you in 20 minutes, caroline.

Heather

not really in a title hunting mood

I can tell you now that this post will be short, because I'm doing the hunt-and-peck version of typing.

why, you may ask is this the case? Because I jammed my thumb today in the last ten minutes of our last volleyball practice of the season, right before our last game tomorrow. Also there's the small possibility that it is broken. yes, broken. Just a hairline fracture, nothing serious. Just my first break ever if that's the case. I don't know yet. So it's sufficient to say I will not be playing in our last game of the season. I hate my life.

And emilea? I'm the worst person ever and I apologize a milliom times over for not commenting and you can't expect one now, and I don't know when you'll be able to. You can't trust my promises anyway. But you can trust that I've read and, and as much as I don't want to be critical, I will say where is your heart?

But yeah. Miss the use of my thumb. Miss being able to finction. Miss not being distracted (a discussion for later times, because it's too much to say to type)

heather


♥♥♥♥♥you!

how I spent the best 15th birthday of my life...

the FESTIVITIES (a cooler word when in caps lock) started a day early when I arrived at school to receive a puppy-sized elephant--named Willy, after John's very own puppy--and delicious, crumbly, explosive sugar cookies with sprinkles. From there, it moved into my first block, where many people (especially those with a name starting with the letter D) actually remembered the next day was my birthday, without my reminding them. Then, the day slipped into second block, which wasn't anything special, but our test was easier than I thought it would be and the rest of school was fairly uneventful.

And then. JESSICA'S HOUSE. and a Starburst from Joey for my birthday gift. And blank cd's. And funny yearbook pictures. And a lovely chat with long lost Tyler, who I never talk to anymore and who is so ridiculous.

ALLISON'S HOUSE where I ate oysters, chips, brownie's, crackers with cheese, a hamburger, and pasta salad. And where we also sung Your Song very badly for an Elton John fan who has touched Elton John's shoes. Something I was amazed about. And then a whole lot more awesome, a handheld Sudoku, and a fancy pen. Apples to Apples. Beanbag chairs. Therapist (the rapist). Giovagnoli twins. Caroline's bad phone-operating abilities. Sleep (or lack of).

MY SISTER'S BOOKS where I bought books, ate (lots of) good food, read part of a book aloud, wandered around, laughed at Allison, talked about books, shelved books, read hilariously dreadful Knock-Knock jokes, did those little word puzzle things from Trif's class, met an author, at more food, ate even more food, traded in children's books for:

Familiar Heat by Mary Hood
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
Mr. Spaceman by Robert Olen Butler
About a Boy by Nick Hornby
The Memory of Running by Ron McLarty
Music Minus One by Jane Shore
The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen
Searching for David's Heart by Cherie Bennett

Then I came home to find 25 more dollars to devote to Disney World (ugh, I hope I can pay for it...)

Plus, facebook wishes me a happy birthday, and that's what I've been waiting for all my life. *eye roll*

Thanks to everybody in the world who is awesome. You made my birthday awesome. I love you guys. (emilea, a comment is forthcoming)

Heather