how I spent the best 15th birthday of my life...

the FESTIVITIES (a cooler word when in caps lock) started a day early when I arrived at school to receive a puppy-sized elephant--named Willy, after John's very own puppy--and delicious, crumbly, explosive sugar cookies with sprinkles. From there, it moved into my first block, where many people (especially those with a name starting with the letter D) actually remembered the next day was my birthday, without my reminding them. Then, the day slipped into second block, which wasn't anything special, but our test was easier than I thought it would be and the rest of school was fairly uneventful.

And then. JESSICA'S HOUSE. and a Starburst from Joey for my birthday gift. And blank cd's. And funny yearbook pictures. And a lovely chat with long lost Tyler, who I never talk to anymore and who is so ridiculous.

ALLISON'S HOUSE where I ate oysters, chips, brownie's, crackers with cheese, a hamburger, and pasta salad. And where we also sung Your Song very badly for an Elton John fan who has touched Elton John's shoes. Something I was amazed about. And then a whole lot more awesome, a handheld Sudoku, and a fancy pen. Apples to Apples. Beanbag chairs. Therapist (the rapist). Giovagnoli twins. Caroline's bad phone-operating abilities. Sleep (or lack of).

MY SISTER'S BOOKS where I bought books, ate (lots of) good food, read part of a book aloud, wandered around, laughed at Allison, talked about books, shelved books, read hilariously dreadful Knock-Knock jokes, did those little word puzzle things from Trif's class, met an author, at more food, ate even more food, traded in children's books for:

Familiar Heat by Mary Hood
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
Mr. Spaceman by Robert Olen Butler
About a Boy by Nick Hornby
The Memory of Running by Ron McLarty
Music Minus One by Jane Shore
The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen
Searching for David's Heart by Cherie Bennett

Then I came home to find 25 more dollars to devote to Disney World (ugh, I hope I can pay for it...)

Plus, facebook wishes me a happy birthday, and that's what I've been waiting for all my life. *eye roll*

Thanks to everybody in the world who is awesome. You made my birthday awesome. I love you guys. (emilea, a comment is forthcoming)

Heather

not so snowy snow day

It is not a happy snow day!

We don't get snow here. Ever. It's like the stupid clouds are torturing us with the prospect, then pull it out from under out feet, only giving us showers of "cold" rain. The weathermen are on the clouds' side. The tell us that it's coming. They say, "60% chance of sleet, possibly forming snow..." or whatever they say in their stupid 'Weather People' lingo. Their stupid LYING 'Weather People' lingo.

ugh. My sister spent hours last night playing in the snow. She's in Columbia at college, and, typically, they got snow. She caught flakes on her tongue and built a pathetic attempt at a snowman- however pathetic, it was still there- and then made her way to dance class. When she came out, there was still snow. I hate her. I hate the stupid weather channel.

I want snow.

Now!

I am, particularly happy at something else falling down on me. A landslide of books. It's raining books. No, snowing them (that's only fitting).

"Have you read The Truth About Forever?"
"No, not yet. I want to."
"Okay, I have it in my car."
"I want it!"

Five minutes later.

"Here." She hands me The Truth About Forever.
"Thanks. You are AWESOME!"
"Oh, and here's Someone Like You- it's got something gross on it though- and then this book. It's just really good, nothing Sarah Dessen about it."
"Eww. That is gross. Ha. Of course, if it wasn't good you wouldn't have it."
"Of course."

She walks away leaving yet another pile of books on my bed. I love her. She's so great. She just has this mountainous pile of books that I haven't read hidden in her car, her 'cubby', her locker, her room, her dresser, everywhere.

Props to Jess.

So now I have...let me count it...seven more books to read. I finished Keeping the Moon. Love it. Love Norman. Love Sarah Dessen.

Seven books. That is perfection. That is heaven. And now, I feel like I deserve to be reviewing books. I was somewhat skeptical before, but now. Now, I feel I deserve it. Now I'm worthy.

Since it is now 2 minutes past deadline, I guess I'll just crawl into bed with the next one, turn up my cd player or mp3 player, and open it (smelling it first of course). I'll just spend the next day diminishing the stacks and stacks. I'll spend the day after building a new bookshelf. I'll spend the day after that rearranging my room. The next day, then, I might come out. I might do something. That is, if no one bails. That is, if we actually go through with our plans for once. That is, if I feel like leaving the fictional world I've become so accustomed to and joining in on the 'real world' that I'm not sure I like nearly as much. If I do that- or even if I don't- the next day, I'll go back to school.

I'll start fresh.

New teachers, new classes, new lunch. I'll start fresh like I've been dreading the last few weeks. I'll leave behind three classes I hate and one I love and join ones that I'll probably feel the same way about. Maybe even worse.

I'll miss friends and find new ones. I'll push for a tennis match and the Harry Potter Party. I'll push for those just to keep in touch. I'll try hard to keep in touch.

With you, it's different. Class or no class, lunch or no lunch, we'll of course keep in touch. Especially as your birthday is less than 6 days away. We'll always be there.

That's a good thought.

Just like the books.

sitting here wondering if it will be the same,
thinking back to all that paper, bound and organized,
leaving you now to join those that don't exist,
♥Heather

Something's growing under that wing
I think a face is dawning
Oh no the books are growing faces

Thanks Rupert!

Yay! Emilea's coming back!

Heather says, reflecting on the magnificent video: "I'm going to be an Oompa Loompa in Charlie and the Chocoloate Factory!"

Yes, it's wonderfully true. I get to paint my face orange and dye my hair green 3 times!!! I get to say mean stuff about Violet (congrats Caroline!) and possibly talk about how great books are! I'm really excited, but Shh!! I'm tutoring!!

Ms. Riley is definitely the best teacher to come to this school so far. Well, okay, so I don't actually have her class, but I love her. She's fun, funny, and great for helping form the Drama Club again. I would have never gotten this opportunity in Drama Class. Snaps for Ms. Riley (excuse the ridiculous notion, but I watched Legally Blonde 2 last night).

And I get to roll Caroline off the stage while she's a giant blueberry!! "Violet! You're turning violet, Violet!"

That's the biggest news I've got, except...I'm going to Greece!! Not really, but in my dream last night I did. And it was like one of those Goosebumps books where you can choose your own ending. I changed the ending like ten times.

And I actually wrote haikus last night. I never write haikus. Ever. I hate writing them. But I love all of the ones I wrote. Especially a very cummings-esque one:

drip-fall-drip-ing-drip
soft pounding of Angels' tears
drip-love-drip-ly-drip

It reminds me of tictoc clock.

*screws up face in concentration*

Does it?

and there's a good one about an Angel at night. It's weird though because I don't write haiku.

I'm having an exceptionally good day, just to let you know Caroline. I'm extremely happy right now. I've laughed so hard today.

There were 'tupees', bags of hair, dumb Bambis, country names (kurkistan), Noah Breyer's specials, 'smokein hot' 'hunks' that don't do it for Mrs. Young because of their Mr. Graham-ish hair, and multiple others. Lunch was empty yet full. Books were piled up to a stack 9-high (lovely). I smiled a lot.

(pardon if the rest makes no sense)
He was around, a lot. He stood in front of me, blocking my path, smiling. I smiled.
He said hi, after weeks of non communication. He touched my arm. I smiled.
He sat down and stayed for a while. I smiled.
She talked to someone besides him. She laughed. I smiled.
She took interest in my book. She laughed. She loved it. I smiled.
He said I was a good writer. He said I was a good speaker. I smiled.
He looked at me outside of class. I smiled.
He was happy (or appeared to be so). He sung. He talked, he joked. I smiled.
She made amends. She apologized. I apologized. She accepted. I smiled.
She joined a conversation. She joined a memory. I smiled.
He talked to me. He laughed. He smiled at me. I smiled.
She asked for help. She wanted me to help. I smiled.

I smiled.

I'm smiling now.

I'm missing a few things about 2007, but I'm smiling. 2008 has finally brought an amazing, nothing wrong, spectacular day.

Thanks.

♥Heather :D

another poem

she said to her
"never let this end
make it go on forever
'till we're pale and cold

I don't want the time to come
of solitude and desolation
no time without the ones I have loved
right there beside me, every moment

the last should not come so soon
the first should be remembered always
but every one in between
are what makes it all worth it

the stories, the tales
the memories to come
shall not be forgotten
in all of the years

you are most important
I hope I am for you
because you will be there
the day I bond myself to someone else

the day my child is born
the day they go to school
the day they graduate
and last of all, the day I say my final goodbyes

my last will be to you"


so? Chloe says it's good, but I almost don't believe her...

Friends

after everything has been said and done
after the food has been cooked and eaten
after the dishes have been cleared and the table wiped down
I realize...There is at least one thing I can be thankful for.

The arguments, the fights, the make-ups, the break-ups, the insults, the bickering, the orders, and the annoyances can be ignored and the spotlight can be put on the thing I'm grateful for, My Best Friends.

Of all the things in my life, my best friends are what holds me together, help me handle the tough times, and give me honest criticism without being painfully harsh. They are the ones standing in a circle around me, pillars holding up the heavens, holding up my hope, keeping it from crashing down.

Whenever I need them, they're always there. I don't need my biological family, they are my real family. They are my real sisters.

They are always waiting in the wings to catch me if I fall. Always there to pick me up whenever I can't get up on my own. Always there to help me forget the bad memories, feelings, and thoughts and remember the good times we've had. They are always there, preparing for the worst, and making these times the best.

I am grateful for:

Caroline--My best best friend. For always being there to spend hours discussing books that we've already spent collective days discussing. For being such a good writer and inspiring me. For sharing common interests with me and making me feel like there is someone else out there as crazy as I am. For helping me become myself and not fear what people think of me. For being the perfect other half of those ridiculous best friend heart necklaces, you know what I'm talking about and your the one with Best written on it because you are the best. For always listening to what I have to say, even if I'm not saying anything. For knowing me. For being my best friend.

Courtney--God, how I love you in all your insane drama. For always being the strongest needle and thread I know, being able to patch things up after we have an argument. For being a friend amongst enemies. For staying by my side, even when you don't want to be there. For following me and keeping in step, never missing a beat. For being a good friend and understanding how I feel. For helping me let out my thoughts in angry rants. For giving me an outlet to turn to when I need someone. For being there.

Chloe--My rock. My steady hand. For being there to drop everything when I need someone to help me laugh. For being the hug that I need. For not letting petty things ruin our friendship. For being as ambitious as you are. For your insane hand gestures :). For letting our joke arguments go on and on, keeping something constant in my life. For being ready to kick anybody's ass that ever hurts me. For loving me.

Danielle--The abnormal creature. For being so ever-changing, bringing new spice to my life every day. For being so insanely crazy(and yes I do know that is redundant). For being an amazing artist. For helping me create the stories that I call my good times. For making me realize how great I've had it the past 5 years. For holding on through all of these years. For sticking with me no matter what. For being you.

Allison--My entertainment--in a good way. For being my sun, able to light up any day. For being so ditsy sometimes and accepting it(because you aren't really that dumb). For helping me accept myself. For making it through one year and sticking around for plenty more. For loving unconditionally. For being so nice whenever I need something nice said about me. For joining us willingly without fear. For being happy.

I love you all 10 times over, no 100 times, no 1,000,000:)♥
couldnt live without any of you. You are my life.