I hate that...

this abnormal tiredness is completely throwing me off.

The past two days after school I've taken a "nap" that has lasted at least 2 hours. That is such an anomoly that it's almost scaring me. So now its 6:40 and I'm completely worn out from my "nap"--ironic, huh?--and so I can't concentrate on reading and I'm not particularly fond of the TV right now, so I'm left to sit here and otherwise 'talk' to you(the one person that will ever read this).

And I'm completely fretting about my governor's school story because the last paragraph I wrote completely sucks and I don't know how to fix it. I would say just screw it and use a different chapter, but this is the key chapter of the book and even if I didnt use it, I'm such a perfectionist with my writing that there's no way I'll ever be able to ignore this dreadful paragraph.

And there's no way I can cut this paragraph out because it is kind of important. So whatever form of writer's block this is called--if it is writer's block and not just perfectionism--I have it. I hate it. I can't get around it. I want to strangle it and fling it off the Empire State Building.

My hatred for writing stories is somewhat ridiculous because I love to write. Writing is one of my favorite ways to use big words because I know that no matter how many I use, I don't need the criticism of my more vocabulary incompetent friends--I need the help of my friends with more extensive vocabulary--I won't have to repeatedly explain what words mean.

But I do hate writing when I get stuck and my mind refuses to work like this particular moment, where, all I can write, are stupid blog entries that will not get me into governor's school and therefore are of no use to me at all but yet I insist on continuing to waste my time writing them to vent my anger and frustration or otherwise just ramble as previously warned I would.

Continue to ponder that while I continue to ponder my story
I'm out--and tired
luvya