I like ice cream in the morning and drink my coffee late at night.

A million things are going on around me and not a single even brushes against me. I've balled up into a tortuga(turtle) shell and have decided to let nothing in or out.

I haven't written in at LEAST a week. It makes me feel very crappy about the whole thing next saturday. It makes me even more nervous that I won't get in. I won't make my last chance to do something with my summer and my life. There's no other year to do it. This is the year. My last and only oppurtunity. And I feel I'm wasting it. I feel that by not writing I'm completely blowing it. I have written a litte poetry (very weird in my case):

gentle green flutters

she speaks of the wind
its tender blowing far
from the Stillness
--she jumps in
going down

down(floating
upup) joining her subject,
working as partners in

one whole flap of
red, the opening violet, blue
expanding
she looks down at gentle
gree flutters(she
floats up...

up)

You know what the result of this poem was?? Nothing. Nothing except losing my favorite writing pen in the mess of my room-in-progress. I'll never find it again. Ever.

There is a bookshelf in the making, a desk and dresser in the moving, and a pile of towels that have all been abandoned in order to come to the computer and do what? Nothing. All I've done today that was productive was add about 50 songs to my mp3 player and make some CDs. That's an accomplishment there.

I'm actually living through music now. I have nothing to read except the daunting, intimidating pile of papers that is the Amber Spyglass. I read about 4 pages and gave up. Ugh.

Amy's at a band thing, as well as Chloe and Hope and Kenny and I'm sure a ton of other people. My parents are at AC Moore(????). Natasha's at a ritsy beach house/country club combo in Georgia. I'm here. Doing nothing.

Despite the terrifying grumble in my stomach that accompanies any thought of it, I'm excited for next weekend. I'll actually go somewhere and do something and see my aunt and go ice skating and drink amazing German hot chocolate and have cats and dogs following my every move and go to my audition. The last is nerve wracking but the rest hold comfort.

I miss my aunt. I haven't seen here since October or so. I can't wait.

I also can't wait for 3 more weeks!!!!!!! AHH!!! it's coming so very near and I'm dying of anticipation! I might actaully die off before it ever comes around...

hopefully not.

As always, none of this is meaningful. None of this shows evidence to my life and friends. All of what I've said in this post is complete crap and holds no importance at all. It's nothing.

I never have anything to say.